International Coalition for British Reparations: People of the World, it's Time to get Paid.

When you think of England, two things come to mind: rotting teeth and vomitous food. Likely, these two are related, but today, we're only focusing on the British inadequacy around the kitchen.

In England, the concept of competitive eating is a bit of a mystery. They understand the competitive aspect of it, but the food part is completely bewildering. Unlike in America where we hold hot dog eating competitions and such, in England, they make people eat toxic plants.

Imagine scarfing down on needled leaves that take chunks out of your taste buds and leave a horrific stinging sensation in your mouth. Now picture yourself a week later still defecating green stool.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the World Stinging Nettle Eating Championship.

Brits Hold Worst Eating Contest Ever

YES, I WOULD LIKE TO SIGN THE PETITION AND GET PAID!