International Coalition for British Reparations: People of the World, it's Time to get Paid.

Thieves have stolen 19 rare and prized cattle from the Queen's Sandringham Estate. Priced at £15,000, the cattle were carefully reared to produce a tender meat the Queen and her guests thoroughly enjoy eating.

The man in charge of caring for the cattle, Tony Barratt, has been considerably shaken by the theft.

"I would dearly like to find them, but I think they would have shown up by now if they were still alive. It's a terrible feeling. It makes me feel quite ill," he said.

Having property stolen is an upsetting experience, it's enough to send anyone into a raging fit. However, to feel actual physical sickness reveals a much different problem. This isn't about a theft, this is about fear for one's life. How do you think Her Majesty is going to react upon hearing the news that 19 of her beloved cattle have been stolen under his watch? She's going to have four words for him, and they won't be "It's not your fault." Oh no, you can bet your bright yellow teeth her words will be a loud and clear "Off with his head!" And those are words that will make any man queasy.

Mr. Barratt, do remember to put the ICBR on your will. Your reparations payment will go a long way toward exposing the Queen and her empire as the evil overlords that they are.

Cattle Worth £15,000 Stolen From Queen's Estate

YES, I WOULD LIKE TO SIGN THE PETITION AND GET PAID!