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Major News Development Sends Shockwaves Through England

05.01.2009 - Dirty Hairy

There's a major development coming out of England today. Newspapers with headlines like "Dirty Hairy" and "Two Years of Horror Admission!" litter the streets of London. The country is at a standstill, jaws dropped, completely taken aback by the revelation of a dirty royal secret. And all it took was nine words to grind England to a halt. Just nine measly words to make every Briton tear up and rethink their whole perception of the royal family.

The "infamous nine" were spoken by none other than the black sheep of the royals, Prince Harry. Boozing with his Army pals, the third-in-line to the throne divulged a dark secret: "It’s been two years since I washed my hair."

Never mind the swine flu pandemic, the financial crisis, the war on terrorism. Those things can wait. What England REALLY cares about is Harry's hair-washing schedule. How could the HEIR not wash his HAIR?

Gordon Brown must be breathing a sigh of relief right now. For one day everyone's too preoccupied to call him an idiot. Oh wait...

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