International Coalition for British Reparations: People of the World, it's Time to get Paid.

French magazine Cahiers du cinéma just named their list of top 100 films of all time. Citizen Kane is tops, while an assortment of French, American, Italian, Spanish, Russian, and German films round it out. The British are up in arms about being omitted from the list. Desperate for some form of mention, they're even trying to take credit for our films, claiming that 2001: A Space Oddyssey is British because it "was partly made with British money and the help of British technicians." Seriously? C'mon!

Your whole film industry is a joke. The English Patient is a long-winded snoozefest, Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit was voted the best British film of 2006, and your biggest claim to fame is James Bond (originally played by a Scotsman)!

In 1941, America produced perennial AFI chart-topper Citizen Kane. And what were you doing during this time, England? Making a mediocre WWII propaganda film called The Prime Minister (rated 5.5/10 on IMDB), that's what. When America sets out to make a WWII propaganda film, we do it right. Case in point: Casablanca (rated 8.8/10 on IMDB).

Fret not, you talentless bunch, there's hope for you yet. There will always be a place for shamelessly mediocre films (Lifetime original movies). Just don't ever expect to earn any accolades.

British Films Not Good Enough For Top 100 List

YES, I WOULD LIKE TO SIGN THE PETITION AND GET PAID!