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International Coalition for British Reparations: People of the World, it's Time to get Paid.

Believing No Human Can Score On Them, Brits Attribute Goal To Ghost Dog

11.20.2008 - Did a ghost dog have John Terry barking up the wrong tree?

Today's front-page sports news in England deals with their 2-1 football (soccer) victory over Germany. Officially, Germany's sole tally came from striker, Patrick Helmes. England, however, and this is what's making front-page news, thinks that Germany's goal came from Helmes' dead dog. They believe there were strange forces at work, you know, because absolutely no living thing could ever outperform England. Not even for one second.

Take a long, hard look at yourselves, England. Your level of denial has reached the point where a soccer-playing ghost dog makes the front page. You are completely intoxicated by your grand delusions, and this sounds like a deafening cry for help. Countries of the world, let's unite and give England the intervention it sorely needs!

Or we could just ignore you and laugh as continue on your downward spiral. We're good either way.

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