High Rates of Fecal Matter Found On British Hands
A recent study has found that an alarmingly high rate of Britons are walking around with traces of fecal matter on their hands. 53% of Newcastle men have unsanitary hands, making them the worst offenders in the study. In London, women had dirtier hands than men, and also, buses were more contaminated than trains.
Before this study, we wouldn't shake a Brit's hand based on principle alone, but now, we just don't want to catch their diarrhea. We'd understand if these results were found in a developing country, but English folk have widespread access to soap. Why they are eschewing handsoap after defecating is unknown, but our guess is that they're waiting for a servant to come in and wash their hands for them. Jeeves is gone, England. Get used to it.
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