Hi,
I have read your information and with a heavy heart I have decided to only way forward is to say 'fairs fair' and get out my cheque book. I can
send £5 to start with and maybe set up a standing order of say, £2 per month. Can you please let me know if you are a registered charity as I may get a tax refund on my donation which I will pass on.
I realise that this is not much. If I can do anything else, maybe an act of terrorism or something please mail me. I doubt I could do anything spectacular as I don't live in central London but in the suburbs. Set fire to some rubbish bins? Let me know.
Your friend,
Mark
Dear Mark,
Thank you kindly for your letter. It is very gracious of you to personally take on Briton’s reparations responsibilities. Your initial down payment of £5, when received, and subsequent monthly £2 payments, also when received, will be put towards the £31,960,000,000,000 in reparations owed by your government. In regards to your query about undertaking acts of anti-British terrorism on our behalf, we must kindly decline your offer. The ICBR, while harboring a great dislike for Britain, in no way wishes tragedy upon her people. Please take all of this energy you seem to have and put it into something positive such as community organization or other grassroots efforts in support of our cause.
Utterly,
The ICBR