England Celebrates Imperialistic History of Their Evil Little Empire
Philadelphia, PA
Last Wednesday saw Englishmen around England raise their pint glasses in honor of St. Georges Day, the English version of St. Patrick’s Day. The holiday, which has enjoyed a resurgence in popularity over the last few years, celebrates Englishness with traditional roast beef dinners, drinking, and the display of St. George’s flag—who, by the way, never set foot in Britain. The holiday’s celebration used to be largely limited to conservative nationalists—read “racists”—but has become increasingly popular amongst everyday English people who also seem to be eating traditional/bland English foods more these days.
Well, St. George’s Day is just a brilliant idea. Let’s all get together and give each other high fives in celebration of a country that raped, pillaged, and enslaved the rest of the world over a three hundred year period, and whose atrocious foreign policy during that time is quite responsible for all of the problems the global community faces today. Cheers, the ICBR will drink to that… not! St. George’s Day instead should be a quiet day of reflection for Englanders, where sins are atoned for and apologies made while the rest of the world observes the fall of the British Empire with drunken revelry. And England, you might want to get a patron saint who is actually British.
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