Britons Embrace Global Warming With Open Arms and Carry- On Baggage
Philadelphia, PA – September 10, 2007
It was way back in 1848 when naturalists in England started noticing a peculiar change in the native population of peppered moths. It seemed the darn things had just decided to change color from their traditional black speckles on a white body to black on, well, black. In a year or less the little critters had just picked up and moved from one side of the color wheel to the other. What was going on? Turns out, England was going on, and so was the birthing of global warming. With little regard for the world around them, those Brits had pumped enough pollution into the air to blacken all the light-colored trees where our moth friends liked to hang out with soot. Peppered moths had little choice but to change from white to black in order to blend in with their surroundings. Fast forward to present day and good old England continues to bumble along with little concern for Mother Earth.
An article in the August 18th edition of The Economist blasted the United Kingdom for heavily promoting its booming airline industry, which contributes approximately 10% of the countries total greenhouse gas emissions. Despite warnings from a variety of the world’s scientific experts, Briton has done nothing to reduce their levels of high-altitude carbon emissions, which are thought to be particularly damaging to the earth’s atmosphere. In fact several legislators have proposed initiatives to build bigger airports and more roads. What a bunch of ninnies! While the rest of the industrialized world is busy corking up their exhaust pipes, you guys are just belching more crap into the air. We were really pissed about it until we realized that your whole country will be under water long before we are all moving about in rowboats. Maybe global warming isn’t such a bad thing after all.
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