Ridiculous Facial Hair Contest Poses Potential Public Health Risk
Philadelphia, PA – September 6, 2007
The First of September marked the start of the World Beard and Moustache Championships held in Brighton, England. In an event as ridiculous as its host country, contestants from around the world pilgrimaged to the seaside resort town in hopes of receiving recognition for their facial coiffures. The contest is made up of 17 classes of facial hair, which fall into one of three general categories, mustache, partial beard or full beard. Participants are judged on a variety of criteria specific to their entry class. We, at the ICBR would just like to congratulate host city Brighton on a job not well done; what a complete an utter waste of resources. We also wanted to raise issues of public health that such a contest poses.
Excessive facial hair can play host to a variety of human parasites and prevent the requisite levels of personal hygiene necessary for prevention of disease transmission. It is no surprise that England, with its historical record of poor hygiene, would fully endorse and host an event that upholds low standards of bodily cleanliness. We can trace examples of Britain’s disregard for physical sterility back to the 14th Century, when the English welcomed the Black Death into their soiled linens, unkempt hair, and begrimed dermises, culminating in the eradication of over a third of their population. In light of past grievances and today’s fears of bio-terrorism, the ICBR is behooved to call attention to England’s latest hygienic oversight. We hope you Brits had fun with your hair olympiad, and pray we won’t find ourselves paying the price 28 days after the fact.
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