International Coalition for British Reparations: People of the World, it's Time to get Paid.

Recovering from a broken jaw, 14-year-old Paige Jones was asked by a charity to make a wish. They told her it could be whatever she wanted, so long as it was feasible. Naturally, the teenager wished she could smash garden gnomes with a guitar while dressed as Angus Young from AC/DC.

Strange, sure; but doable? Absolutely! Her wish came true the other day as the charity arranged some gnomes on the grass and provided her with the signature school uniform and guitar.

"I had a really good time," she said afterward, though she admits that she doesn't recall ever making the wish.

Sad, she's only 14 and already the years of alcohol abuse have depleted her memory recall. Honestly, who in their right mind wishes to obliterate gnomes with a six-string dressed as a schoolboy? No one! Only people drunk off their heads could even fathom such a situation. That charity needs to get that girl into rehab, not humor her inebriated requests. Who's running this charity, Amy Winehouse?

Briton Makes A Most Bizarre Wish...And It Comes True

YES, I WOULD LIKE TO SIGN THE PETITION AND GET PAID!