International Coalition for British Reparations: People of the World, it's Time to get Paid.

Britons around England are filling pitchers with iced Earl Grey and tossing some mouth-watering blood sausages on the grill as a brief heatwave has hit the country. Meteorologists predict the pleasant weather will only last two days before Britain's patented freezing summer rains ensue. So enjoy whatever atrocities you cook up in your barbecue, just remember to bundle up before heading to your miserable job on Friday.

Boy, summer sure is nice, huh! It's a shame it only lasts 48 hours in England. Imagine how many more BBQ blood sausages you could have if you only lived in America, the land where summers last for MONTHS! Actually, forget about American summers. Yes they're great and lengthy, but we don't want our beaches polluted with British women in bikinis. So just stay away, please.

Don't Blink, Short Heatwave Signals Beginning And End Of English Summer

YES, I WOULD LIKE TO SIGN THE PETITION AND GET PAID!