Psychologists Desperate To Cheer Up Depressed England
Britons are in such a bleak mood these days, that psychologists at the University of Hertfordshire are desperately developing a way to cheer them up over the internet. They simply do not have enough space in their facilities to cure a clinically depressed nation.
Professor Richard Wiseman, one of the researchers in charge of the program, said, "No one's ever tried cheering up a whole country before, and it's the right time to do it with everyone feeling gloomy from the recession."
One of the methods the program suggests is to force a smile while making tea. Yeah, because you know that very technique works wonders for flight attendants. This experiment hasn't even taken place yet and we can already tell you that it's going to flop. No amount of forced smiles will change the fact that you live in a dank, rat-infested 100-square-foot apartment with a leaky roof and peeling wallpaper. Plus, several studies have found that internet usage causes feelings of isolation and loneliness (aka depression).
It's not the recession that's got Britons feeling down, they've been miserable for centuries. And the reason for that is because they've got a guilty conscience, which wreaks havoc on your temperament. If you really want to end your suffering, pay your reparations and get the hell out of that rain-soaked country. A guilty conscience and a constantly overcast sky are no good for the soul.
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